Thought of the month of
October 2002

« Weeping breathe »

Feels like centuries of suffering catching up.
Feels like the reflection of the darkened mirrors
Wakening in the galleries of the lustful past.
Feels like a saddened prince of darkness seeking the light.

I won’t tell you why, where, when or what. What I can tell you is of the waves that still crash upon the reeves of my heart. I can tell you of the never-ending sunrise fleeing the dark. I can speak of the birds flying over the ocean, seeking to satisfy their everlasting hunger.
Never mind if the tide was high yesterday. Never mind if the shore is filled with unsettled calamities and senseless brides to be on this day. All that matters is this hunger that can’t be bent.

I keep telling myself that if I can see now the joy in the lust that was, I may just be catching up to the happiness awaiting. I keep thinking that if I am still here in the sand is to be the first to see the embarcaderos arriving. I keep empowering my life to the sounds of tomorrow and suddenly there you are in tears, hoping to get back what was.

I wish everyday for the subtracted happiness that will arise from what was and what is. I hope everyday to see the glorious fruits of these years of suffering. And here I see you in tears, holding on to what had the opportunity to exist once.

Please know that each one of your tears feels like centuries of suffering coming back to me. That each single tear you shed brings back my reflection in the dark mirrors of my mind. That these sounds of your weeping breathe on the phone awakens the lustful past in the galleries of my submerged memories, when I was seeking your light in my heart.