Thought of the month of
March 2007

« Shifting again »

I was watching the clouds passing from my balcony and it appeared to me: I can't explain this feeling thinking of all the things that have happened since I left what I once called home. Somehow I have shifted all my life upside down and closed doors to anything called stability and permanence.

I left love outside on the porch, redone my closets shrinking my life to fit into a back pack, and boxed up my expectations to make them bunch of souvenirs of a foggy life now gone.

The sun still shine and the branches dance to the never ending winds blowing us all away. All together in a lonely individual existence. But don't you know the earth never moves. It absorbs the thoughts you shed and the pains you claimed upon it.

There was a night, when I was in bed, I closed my eyes and clearly saw the sunlight peaking through my dreams. It felt like a warm hand on my chest pushing me to get up and walk away. So I got up and walked away to the better thoughts of what is to come. But this time will be different I like to tell myself.

Two years of just living week to week is what I have chosen. Two years of unchained trans where you can change reality on weekly basis and carve it to your pleasures and claims. Where you don't let the wind walk you through your life. Where the earth will always shift as to never have to absorb your lonely thoughts.

Yes, I am leaving to an undefined dream that I call future.