Thought of the month of
March 2006

« ...clear your thoughts ... »

They say will it be of the right belief? Will it come from the right steer? I am tired of this collective creative clarion for this is all I have left to lose and I no longer wish to worry of the crenshaw flowers and the smell of roses at dawn.

Why not? Why can it not be just a belief in what could be without worry of the sun coming up at dawn. I would like to miss her. I would like to be of a mood to be in love and to be the one who cares for a tomorrow sunnier than today. And damn it, I am! And if you don't see it, it is of your own crepuscule's fault that failed to come up in the next morning of your life.

I have to admit I no longer am who I was and no longer care for those who will just be satisfied of passing by. I want reality. I want serenity in the face of what's to come but not at the expense of my brother's jealousy and my father's shame.

I want it for myself as if it was the first time I had been born. I want everything and if everything is not here for me to grasp, then I want it all for the roses and those who can smell them. But what can I do if my words can no longer express my sense of Love?
What can I do if life leads its own way of showing you its dawn ... Maybe cripple myself to the sound of my brother's wishes and die to make him as grand as he wants to be. Maybe clear my conscience and act as selfish as they've always been. Or maybe just let them go by without a breath to lose in my life.

Clear your thoughts, ... clear your thoughts, ...

But then I would have so much waist to give you brother. Why waist time on all this when there is so much to share?